Jonah | In Home Newborn Session
The second child. It seems as though when the first one turns 1 year old people start asking, “So, do you think you want more?” – OR – “When are you going to have another?”And guys, you know I’m all about honesty, I am on the fence on this one. Not so much the “if” but the “when”. And the reason for my hesitation on “starting the process” now is that the first 6 months of Maxine’s life were very hard for me. And that’s putting it lightly.
Life is funny though, isn’t it? When the questions of “when” and “if” started rolling in from family and friends alike wouldn’t you know that nearly every single newborn session I booked since Maxine’s first birthday has been a second child with a toddler sibling?
And here is what I have witnessed and learned from my conversations with these families: The second baby is easier than the first.
Taking care of two is more chaotic than taking care of one, but not less joyful.
Some older siblings are champions at helping and loving and being involved, and others just aren’t. But with time and patience and understanding those who are less excited get on board eventually.
That the exhaustion is just as real as the first, but it’s a familiar exhaustion. And somehow you still manage to show up for both of them, to love them and smile at them, feed them, bathe them, cuddle them.
So to those of you who have gone before me, who have welcomed in your second, third, or beyond, I want to first say you make it look effortless.
But I already have one kiddo so I know it’s not without tears, not without “why?”, no without “what if?”
And despite those doubts and frustrations and sleepless nights you still manage to stretch and pull at your heart with surprising ease to make room for that one more.
At the start of the day, you still manage to smile down at them from their beds and say, “This is a new day.”
And at the end of the day, when you have taken over 100 deep breaths, snuffed out 1,000 tantrums, swaddled and reswaddled a dozen times, you put them into their two little beds, rest your head on your one pillow, glance over at your spouse and reach out a tender hand because no words are needed. That soft grasp at the end of another day in parenthood is reassurance that we are still in this together. And that tomorrow is another big, beautiful day.
Dinosaur dreams and swaddled babes,